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TEMPORARY SPECIAL:

$50 OFF ANY MEETING 1.5 HOURS OR LONGER FOR ANY RETURNING CLIENTS!

This is my way of thanking you and saying good-bye before my semi-retirement.

*IMPORTANT NOTE!  You must mention this special in order to receive the discount.  Thanks! 

 

RATES

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AT HOME; Northern Illinois and Wisconsin

In call: Lake in the Hills

Out Calls: to Northern Illinois and Wisconsin 

 

REGULAR RATES 

Cash or deposit plus cash

1 hour:  $450 

1.5 hours: $600

2 hours:  $750

2 Hours plus lunch or dinner first:  $800

3 hours:  $1100

Overnight:  $2200

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DISCOUNTED PREPAID RATES

Prepay on venmo, cash app, zelle, or snail mail for a $50-$200 discount!

1 hour:  $400

1.5 hours:  $550

2 hours:  $675

2 Hours plus lunch or dinner first:  $725

3 hours:  $1000

Overnight:  $2000​

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PERKS

See the ENTERTAINMENT IDEAS page for a list of opportunities available for different amounts of time. ​​​​​

 

OUT CALLS 

-at home ADD $50.00, plus cover any parking fees, please ($10-$85.00 in Chicago).

-1.5 hour minimum (Longer minimums with longer drives)

-on tour add $200 when available.  Three small dogs must accompany me. PLAN AHEAD to arrange this on tour. ​

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DEPOSIT OR PREPAYMENT AT HOME

in the Northern Illinois/Wisconsin area

-$50 deposit for 1-2 hours from all first time visitors with a few exceptions.

-No deposit required in Northern Illinois/Wisconsin for Returning clients, P411 members with 2 okays or more, and some RS2K members 

-25% deposit required for 3 hours or longer from everyone -in lieu of a deposit, prepaying a discounted rate is always an option.  

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DEPOSIT OR PREPAYMENT ON TOUR

-Required for ALL appointments on tour

-$50 deposit for 1-2 hours

-25 % deposit for 3 H or longer

-or prepay for a discounted rate

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SWINGERS CLUB

-2 hour/1000minimum.  3 hours (1500) + recommended.  

-Dinner off the clock first optional. 

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MAGIC MUSHROOMS

-all night recommended

-3 hours minimum booking required, but this will take at lease 6 hours.  Details on the ENTERTAINMENT IDEAS page. 

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ALL NIGHT OR ALL DAY

-25% Deposit required, or prepay for the discount.

-12-14 hours if Dinner and breakfast are included but optional.

-6 hours of sleep at night or social time during the day included

-$500 deposit plus $1700 cash, total $2200, or prepay $2000 

-ADDITIONAL FEES WHEN APPLICABLE

     -airfare

     -car fare

     -dog sitter

     -hotel 

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EXTENDED TIME

24 hours: $3500, or $3000 prepaid

48 hours:  $4500 or $4000 prepaid

1 week:  $10,000 or $9000 prepaid

-25% Deposit required, or prepay for the discount.

-6 hours of sleep at night or social time during the day included

-ADDITIONAL FEES WHEN APPLICABLE

     -airfare

     -car fare

     -dog sitter

     -hotel 

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PAYMENTS 

Payments can be made on Venmo, Cash app, and Zelle.  If you want to pay a deposit only, an amazon gift card is also acceptable.   Snail mail can be used to send checks and money orders when it's used at least 2 weeks ahead of time.  Please don't send money until you are asked to.  

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CANCELATIONS 

If you cancel at home:

-more than 4 hours in advance, your deposit or prepayment will be applied to a new appointment

-if you cancel without rescheduling you will forfeit your deposit or prepayment.

-cancelations within 4 hours incur a $400 cancelation fee.

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IF YOU CANCEL ON TOUR

-more than 48 hours in advance, your prepayment will be applied to a rescheduled appointment.  A deposit only will be forfeited.

-within 48 hours, there will be a $400 cancelation fee

-same day cancelations will be responsible for the full amount.

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IF I NEED TO CANCEL

-at home or on tour, or if I'm more than 30 minutes late, you can come a little later, reschedule, or receive a refund.

-If I need to cancel:

     -just you on tour, we can reschedule or I will refund you.

     -the entire city due to an illness or unavoidable situation, your deposit or prepayment will be applied to a rescheduled appointment.  There won't be refunds for rescheduled tours.  

 

 

YOUR INVESTMENT IS SAFE WITH ME.

I don't want or need to take your money one time.   What I want is for you to have an awesome time, and to come back again and again!  Your prepaid appointments are guaranteed.  If you need to cancel, you'll have a credit with me until we can reschedule. Clients with excessive cancelations or who ignore my attempts to reschedule may eventually lose their credit. 

 

 

MARSHMALLOW, TRUFFLE and the new guy, BONBON

are my three small dogs (see photos below).  They will be present, except for on out calls at home. If you don't like them, or if you are annoyed with them or with me for bringing them, please don't let me know it.  If you are annoyed with us, I might feel annoyed with you, too, and then the magic will be gone.

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